Flat worlds, witches and sentient buildings - Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett (Review)

A/N: This review contains mild spoilers for Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett. This is your spoiler warning. Please read the author’s note at the end to participate in picking the December read!

If you’ve read my blogs for a while or even glanced at my Instagram or Goodreads, you’ll not be wrong to assume that I’m a huge fan of fantasy and literary fiction with a thriller or romance tossed in between as a palate cleanser. But what if I told you that my favorite writing style belongs to an author known for science-fiction? That I’ve spent years trying to find a similar writing style in the fantasy genre because despite how much I liked the author’s books, science fiction is just not for me? And I’ve finally found it.

Terry Pratchett is the Douglas Adams of the fantasy genre and I’m not listening to any further arguments.

Now that all the facts have been established, let’s get on with why Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett, published in the year 1987 is a feminist book. It was certainly very progressive for its time and I’m so darn happy that it aged so well.

Equal Rites follows Eskarina Smith, the eighth child of a blacksmith from the small village of Bad Ass on her journey to become the first female wizard with her mentor- Granny Weatherwax in tow. Yes, I’m not lying, Bad Ass is in fact the name of the village. 

According to wizard lore, the eighth son of an eighth son can inherit the magical powers from a dying wizard. When one such wizard turns up just in time for the birth of the eighth born child of the blacksmith in Bad Ass- the child assumed to be a son inherits the wizard’s staff and powers. Except, the son turns out to be a daughter who lives in a world where only men have been wizards and women have been witches. It’s just always been that way. Granny Weatherwax, the only witch of the village, says so herself.

But as coming-of-age stories go for all the ‘chosen ones’, you may refuse the call but the call will contact you again regarding the warranty of your designated destiny. (If you don’t get the reference, I’m sorry. I lost the three memes that I’d saved and now can’t find it anywhere because it’s a niche reference.)

As Esk’s magic manifests, Granny tries to train her to be a witch because she truly believes that women are meant to be witches. Her beliefs stem from her disdain for wizard magic and geometry. But destiny and the wizard’s staff have other plans. So they set out to enroll Esk into the Unseen university in Ankh-Morpork and face new adversaries and new adversities on the way. 

From sexist wizards to witches who make contraceptives and seduction aids (?), and sentient buildings to inter dimensional monsters, the roster of characters that Granny and Esk come across are a fascinating bunch.

The magic system of the wizards was rather unclear to me, but that is not the main focus of the story. I did enjoy how witch magic was an important part of society and how they played the role of pharmacists and nurses and doctors in small villages while also being the wise, elderly person that womenfolk trusted for advice. And most of all, I loved Esmerelda Weatherwax, referred to as Granny throughout the story. While it’s Esk’s story of how she becomes a wizard and how the university gets its first female student, Granny learning to like the city and thundering through its streets while scaring important wizards and thugs alike was a sight to behold.

The thing that bothered me the most about the book was the absence of chapter divisions because the narrative ebbs and flows and there’s no good stopping point, and each time I had to put the book down, it would bother me a lot. Maybe that’s a ‘me’ problem but if you relate to this, you’re bound to get very triggered by it. The writing was flawless and the comic timing was insane and that entirely made up for how much the chapter thingy annoyed me.

So if you’re someone who likes satire about the real world, set on a flat planet carried by four elephants balanced on top of a great tortoise walking towards the end of the universe, this book is for you. And if you like funny books but not wizards, the Discworld universe has thirty-nine more novels to pick from and experience similar kinds of fun and adventure. I can’t wait to read more from Pratchett.

Here are some quotes from the book that made it an absolute riot to read:

Unlike Granny, who dressed like a very respectable raven, Hilta Goatfounder was all lace and shawls and colors and earrings and so many bangles that mere movement of her arms sounded like a percussion section falling off a cliff.

Granny Weatherwax, sweating and cursing, was running along a forest path holding the damn thing at shoulder height for the tenth time that she had found a bear trap.
The second problem was that a bear had found it first. In fact this hadn't been too much of a problem because Granny, already in a bad temper, hit it right between the eyes with the broomstick and it was now sitting as far away from her as it was possible to get in a pit, and trying to think happy thoughts.

He was stupid, yes, in the particular way that very clever people can be stupid, and maybe he had all the tact of an avalanche and was as self-centered as a tornado, but it would never have occurred to him that children were important enough to be unkind to.

The Shades, an ancient part of the city whose inhabitants were largely nocturnal and never inquired about one another's business because curiosity not only killed the cat but threw it in the river with weights tied to its feet.

Sometimes wizards were thin and gaunt and talked to animals (the animals didn't listen, but it's the thought that counts)

The University has, in fact, developed a personality.
Granny could sense it like a big and quite friendly animal, just waiting to roll over on its roof and have its floor scratched.

Granny was the first person to ever read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages.

It was the kind of storm that suggests that the whole sky has swallowed a diuretic.


A/N: If you’re interested in the Discworld series and don’t know where to start Terry Pratchett’s official website and Discworld Emporium have easy where-to-start guides. There’s multiple Reddit posts and Booktube videos to help you. Personally, I prefer the ‘character-arcs’ order over ‘chronological-by publication date’ order.

For the previous installment, here’s my take on The Color Purple by Alice Walker.

Thank you for reading the thirteenth installment in my ‘Women of Words’ series where I read feminist literature by a new feminist author each month. Except, my December read will be the last post for this series in its current form.

I’m having trouble deciding which book to read for the last post, so here are the titles I’ve narrowed it down to:

1. A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
2. Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Evaristo
3. Celestial Bodies by Jokha Alharthi
4. Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse

Help me pick by voting for the one you like the most on the poll on my homepage if you didn’t get the chance to vote on my Instagram poll.

(Let me know if you’d like to read the book with me. Maybe for the last one, we can have a proper book club reading party instead of my one-person rambling session!)

I look forward to hearing from you.
Much love,
M❤️