Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo, translated by Jamie Chang (South Korea)

When I realized that misogyny in a developed country was no different from the misogyny in a developing one. *surprised Pikachu face*

There were several reasons that made me pick this book up when I decided to read from a South Korean author. Most of them were influenced by how popular this book was in the media and the “controversy” surrounding it as it is said to have triggered the Korean #metoo movement. The other not-so-significant reason was that I’m an intersectional feminist who happens to have a crush on Kim Nam-joon’s taste in literature. And so began my journey of reading a book that would make me want to pluck my eyeballs out because of how relatable the story was in the context of the women of my own country.

It’s a painful story that is told through a psychiatrist’s note as the protagonist- Kim Jiyoung, who happens to be his patient struggles through therapy sessions as she talks about her life. The book is peppered with actual data which wasn’t as unpleasant as I’d thought it’d be because it felt like the author went with an ‘I’ve got receipts to prove it, biss’ approach. And I appreciate her choice of writing.

It tells the story of Kim Jiyoung- an everywoman living a middle-class life in the outskirts of Seoul. Born in the ’80s when South Korea was going through an economic crisis and a change in societal standards for women, it covers her current life and her past. And oh boy, you’d have to be extremely ignorant to not understand all the misogyny especially as the author makes an effort to spoon feed it to you. I’d have appreciated more nuanced writing but the author writes with clarity and purpose about a subject that was apparently more taboo than I realized if it caused the new feminist movement in South Korea with intense backlash from the public. (I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority of ‘the public’ were men but what do I know?)

It’s hard to explain the book an appropriate amount considering it’s difficult to ascertain what is considered as spoilers and what isn’t. But if you made me a list of sexist things- they’ve probably all been covered in this book.

A husband who thinks ‘sacrificing’ his leisure time for his baby is equivalent to the wife having to sacrifice her job, friends, and career goals and the wife being frustrated with the inequality but having to be grateful for ‘his efforts’. Check.

A family where the son is given more importance, love, and privilege over the daughters. Check.

A dad who blames his daughter for being sexually assaulted by a stranger. Check.

A mother who barely gets any respect or credit in society and in her own home for all the efforts she puts in to bring up her family. Check.

A spy-cam situation in the ladies’ washroom in a workplace being swept under the rug by corporate and the men of the office let go without much consequence. Check.

People treating stay-at-home mothers as insects and a burden. Multiple sad checks.

Female foeticide and/or neglect because who wants daughters anyway. Check.

Inequality and harassment in the workplace waved off as normal behavior. Check.

Unequal pay, unequal opportunities, and viewing benefits like maternity leave and concessions at work for pregnant women as a privilege and not a necessity. Check.

It has everything you could dream of and more. I did cry in frustration at how real and valid the incidents the protagonist goes through are. And it makes me sad because if the reality of a developed country is as sad as portrayed by this book what hope do I have for the future?

My biggest takeaway is that media is often controlled by the people in power and the people in power tend to be men fostering capitalism unconcerned with equal rights unless it can somehow earn them money. So super popular television dramas are not a great representation of that country’s reality.

a/n: every country has laws that are meant to protect the disadvantaged but can we honestly say that they’re implemented in the best ways and are accessible to common people? plus, I just want to point out how pretty the cover is. also for the people who think I'm unskilled at writing reviews, it is because I actually am. <3