A (not) comprehensive list of what women want

Sometimes on random Wednesdays when I’m scrolling through my news feed or through Instagram looking for signs from the universe for fixing my life and getting back into writing I come across certain posts, get distracted and feel inane. But I’ve realised that I can never match the level of inanity of the female voters who voted for Trump and against their own rights and it makes me feel slightly more accomplished in life. 

But then I’m down to fighting them for the next level of half-wittedness when I end up reading articles about ‘what girls want’ and ‘what guys want’ on the internet. 

Since I like discussing my terrible decisions in life on the internet, this was bound to come up sooner than later. So here we go. The random list of things that women are apparently supposed to want.

(I do not know in what context but if you look up ‘what women want’ most of the articles tend to be written in the context of what women want from men. And since most positions of authority are filled with dudes, it makes sense for me to make a list.)

Disclaimer: I do not speak for any one but myself. And I give no confidence to how statistically accurate the list I made is. I picked random things that caught my eye from multiple websites and do not have a research methodology to speak of in this situation. So don't come after me if my opinions do not match yours. 

One.

Good morning and good night texts.

I don’t know if this is what everyone desires but for those of you who do, the easiest way to receive good morning messages without fail is to make a WhatsApp group with all your family members in it. 

I assure you, there will be at least that one uncle /aunt who’ll send out ‘good morning’ messages at the crack of dawn, without fail. Trust me, there’s always one of those in every family.

You don’t have to go out of your way and find a stranger to do this for you. 

Two. 

Hugs from behind+slow dances+long hugs+forehead kisses.

Are these acts of love not gender neutral? Don’t guys want to be held and pecked on the forehead and told that they are beautiful? Why does this point still only turn up in this list?

Can we all stop pretending that guys don’t desire that warm fuzzy feeling you get when your partner holds you close and tells you that they love you? Also, when a relationship no longer abides by the heteronormative, cis-gendered construct society expects it to be does no one get to slow dance?

Three. 

Deep long conversations.

Again, do I have to identify as a female to have deep, long conversations? Who writes these lists and why do I even read them? 

Yes, I have made friends based on deep, long conversations about feminism and politics but so have I on the basis of whether that person appreciates octopuses and orcas as much as I do. 

(Maybe I just have very low standards for the kind of friends I want.) 

Four. 

Security (financial and physical).

Okay, now I do agree that I’d like someone who can defend my honour or whatever when I walk down the street and get catcalled, because I’m a rather small human. And it's a given that people are generally taller than me and it is intimidating to get harassed on the streets though I've got nothing going for me in the physical beauty department. 

But you cannot stand there and tell me that as a hetero-guy you do not wish to date a woman who’s got your back. 

If you don’t think that dating a lady who hath ninja-skills and can take out a mob doesn’t sound appealing, I wonder what absurd world I live in. I seriously do.

Also, calm down y’all. No one’s after your money. Seriously. (I know the whole Sugar-person thing exists but they’re often consensual. And shouldn’t concern you unless you’re one of the parties involved.)

Five.

Food.

Oh come on. Who writes these? 

Don’t humans who identify as men eat? 

When did individuals born with the XY chromosomes start photosynthesising, because that would help a lot with global warming and reducing our carbon emissions.

We gotta get us some of those photosynthesizing dudes, people. Or global warming will really drown places and you know I cannot swim.

Now, after all that unfruitful rambling I realised that I gotta help people out, ya know. If people are really going around thinking that this is actually what women want from dudes, then we’re doomed. 

So here’s a list of random things that women may actually want. (maybe most women. Okay, maybe it’s just me but hear me out since you’re already this deep into my downward spiral.)

One.

Free sanitary products.

(Okay if this makes you uncomfortable and freaks you out, it’s not me. It’s you.)

Yes, my argument can be that since, menstruators menstruate due to biology and it’s super inconvenient to begin with, there should be something to make it less painful. 

I know they were made tax free but that really doesn’t help since the raw materials that sanitary products are made off are still taxed and hence, they still cost a lot. And affordable brands are hard to find because of capitalism. 

It’s super unfair that every menstruator has to spend so much money on hygiene while having to work with a misogynistic, unfair society at the same time.

Scotland did it, so really, people can no longer say that it’s impossible.

Two.

Equal pay.

This shouldn’t be a point on here. At all. Ever. If it is, then you gotta understand how dysfunctional society is that individuals get paid differently on the basis of what gender they identify as. 

(Let’s not even get started on binary gender identifiers.) 

Three.

Wardrobe choices that don’t depend on what the society thinks is safe or precautionary.

Women get judged for what they wear. Everywhere. All the time. 

In school, I was scarred for eternity when the teachers insisted that they check under our skirts if we wore shorts underneath. Were the dudes objected to the same? 

Women in Japan filed an anti-high heels petition. Have guys had to petition against flat shoes?

Politicians have blamed the crimes on the clothing choices made by the victim. Like, as if women wearing sarees aren’t molested. Women wearing layers of cardigans have never been groped and women who are covered from head to toe, baring their eyes have never been cat called. 

It happens no matter what you wear. And it sucks that everyone still fails to see how the problem isn’t clothing?

So lemme just wear baggy t-shirts and leggings with stars on them. And let the ladies who wanna rock *insert your choice of outfit because my sense of fashion is apparently non-existent*, rock it.

(Also, not wanting to drape a million mile long saree over my short body doesn’t make me less feminine or a wannabe tomboy. You try walking in that without face-planting. I respect the people who can do that. They've got mad skills and you should fear for your lives.)

Four.

The right to feel stuff without being labelled as weak or heartless. 

 

I cannot even begin to fathom the amount of outrage I feel when people believe that women cannot be good at their jobs or be leaders because they have emotions. This is not a made up situation, believe me. 

People find it hard to see women in major positions, female lawyers are less preferred and when was the last time we had a prime minister who wasn’t a dude. 

Trust me, I scrolled through a list of Supreme Court Chief Justices of India and I’m not proud of the fact that there hasn’t been one lady on there. So the people who make the laws about women and for women are not women. No wonder marital rape is not a concern. 

It’s not that we don’t have talented women in the field, the simple fact is that they get sidelined because society finds it hard to respect their judgements.

The society has no qualms in saying that women are ruled by emotions.That their judgements and actions and opinions are partial. That we as women feel too much, are too sensitive and that we, if given the opportunity to, will create disasters. 

But in the end, haven’t all wars been started by men?

Don’t even get me started on the opposite end of this spectrum where women are judged for not having enough emotions. 

I’d like my tear ducts to be free of all censorship and my outrage to not be classified as the result of my hormones. 

A/N: I'm really passionate about two things in life- petting cats and making lists. I'm not good at either of them, so feel free to leave me some advice. 

And for anyone who wants to debate about the validity and legitimacy of the things I talk about, please do take it up with me, I'd love a different perspective on things. 

copyright©️2020 Mnemoyne

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